Feels like Im physically dying. Whats the toughest part is she just stopped communication totally. Travelling back and forth abroad to see her. We went through mediation swiftly and amicably. I knew my wife was no longer this person that I longed for. While these may be the reasons someone gives for leaving a relationship, these do not address the real reasons why someone normally leaves a relationship. During the summer he became distand and snappy with both myself and the girls, resulting in him going to work and coming . Keep me posted on how things are going for you. You may never get the answer you are looking for from your partner, but there are several common reasons why someone leaves a relationship. Maybe you want to place your studies on hold for awhile or get your family involved to temporarily help yout. Its mind blowing. In hind site, probably too much. Ive been taking care of household/ kids/ working part time and hes never even picked up kids once after school even if I was sick! Is he depressed and hating life? Any time i try to talk to her to tell her the pain I am going thru being apart from my kids and missing her but she gets upset then she blocks my phone and texts. He had itchy feet a few years ago and spent some time travelling and living in different states for work but in the end he came home. My partner of 7 year left me 10 weeks ago, She is 40 and i am 47 and she had an affair when with a guy i know who is 49 after her father died. Then quite quickly our arguments started becoming more fatal & terminal. absolutely the truth you cant endure such a tremendous heart ache without the love of Jesus and fully relying on his help to know Christ is the greatest gift on this earth in spite of all of our heartaches and trials and tribulations my husband left me in October of 2014 without of word took all of our money the car is everything personal belongings everything I came home to nothing and I dont care about the the world of goods my heart ached so terriblyworse than a death (my son died) pure disasterunable to withstand the pain in my heart although I was saved I guess I wasnt fully trusting the Lord at that moment I went outside of my secluded house in the middle of cornfields to hang myself and I took pills a lot (prescription) and I drank a bottle of whiskey in one drink I should have clearly died but did not! Im lost Im hurt and Ive cried all day. I think on diffrent levels most of us suffer with anxiety, depression. He simply needs to find his happiness, he just wants to be happy. I was abandoned by my wife of 10 years this last April after I discovered her sexual affairs with several men. Ok, judas. Going through the same this year. During this time my Family saw the truth, because my ex husband and his girlfriend did so many cruel things. So far he has not moved out as he had planned and keeps changing his mind on a daily basis. He is so evil, my family went with me to get my things and said he looked sick and crazy, not the person they thought they knew. he still love his ex wife and tell to my face that his only pretending to love me all this years. Although my son is older, he still has two years of high school left. I am 38 and my husband 52 walk out on me while I am work. You dont want to have to recover from both. It should never be based on how YOU are feeling thats selfish, not selfless. I did it all. So I came clean and told my husband that I was unhappy because of these feelings that I couldn't overcome and I felt like staying in the marriage would be denying him the opportunity to find someone who is 100% devoted to him. I know this awful feeling so well. she wants to become a UK citizen, to do that she has to marry this man. It is actually just a natural part of my nature. someone whos been through abuse or bullying, What to do when your husband or wife abandons you, speaking with a mental health professional, acsjournals.onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/pdfdirect/10.1002/cncr.24577, proquest.com/openview/4bd906a16b2a72068a059378348fb0c1/1?pq-origsite=gscholar&cbl=41641, How to Let Go of Past Hurts: 8 Ways to Move On, Podcast: Resiliency, Passion, and Trauma Recovery, Podcast: Working Moms and Self-Care with Brooke Burke, Podcast: The Latest Research to Live Happily Ever After, Podcast: Is Media Reporting on Mental Illness Fair? I dont intend to be mean when I do so. But things with him have never been logical. Totally self centered . I dont know who to treat him. I felt like I was wasting his time. If you are married and these things happen, underlying all of it, if there is a commitment to stay the course, and do the work to overcome these sorts of issues, couples can come back from all sorts of problems. Trent Shelton on Facebook is a great motivational speaker. Someone please help I feel like dying inside but I dont want to loose him I am in pain cant stop crying . There are thousands, probably even millions of people in the world right now whove been through this situation. He says he takes all bad things & works them for the good of those who believe. I knew he was insecure and this got to him, but I never really thought to deep into it until he cheated on me a few weeks ago. As the spouse of a narcissist, I am the one with the problemthe one who is too sensitive, the one who cannot take a joke. You have kids? Then in 2014 it got really bad . Once you enter your information, youll be directed to a list of therapists and counselors who meet your criteria. My wife and friend are not really communicating and when they said they wanted to be friends I think they wanted amicable aquanties. My wife of 10 years left 4 weeks ago and hasnt looked back. You probably thought we were going to say go get yourself a puppy or something like that. If he truly loves you and wants this marriage to work he will do what it takes. I was so fearful of it returning that I wound up taking the gabapentin for seven months before daring to discontinue it. I have been begging wife to stop the lies, stop the backstabbing, and stop the abuse of pills and alcohol.. without trust there is no foundation without a foundation the house falls. Still working. Use your resources when someone is trying to mess with you . And I cant get past feeling devastated, crying when Im alone after work until I go to bed. My life is in a tailspin right now. She ruined mothers day after I bought her gifts and took her out. Dog depression is similar to the kind we as humans experience. I will admit to being a bit of a pain Im a house wife and he would come home some nights and i would complain about something that happened at home during my day and it would cause a row because he felt as if I was always moaning at him. I have to do some procedures for possible breast cancer and I need to get my insurance going. My heart aches with yours. Please know that help is available, and we wish you the best of luck in your search. Because of his looks people often say he's punching or ask him how he pulled me because I am a low profile runway model and I'd say I'm pretty conventionally attractive. 3) Be patient with your husband and his remorse. She is also ready to date a friend who I had welcomed into my home. ..any ideas? I know it sounds stupid but I am still so in love with him and so upset Im still hoping he will come back this time. We are both in our 50s. My heart is broken beyond repair. By left me I mean that she asked me to leave. I dont temember- FYI Im in NJ. I rush home to sit in bed and wonder what happened. This women has made my life a nightmare. Im not a dumb guy, I swear it. I feel bad for those who do, because I dont even understand it. That happened to a friend of mine and he a lot of her settlement and then spent it and then got divorced and she couldnt get it back. I am so truly heartbroken. We're told in God's Word, " The eyes of man are never satisfied. Followed by admitting adultery in a surprising amount of detail (think she was proud). I cannot comprehend my life without her. Most of these illnesses stem from abandonment rejection abuse maybe we should go back to asylums. You deserve better . So instead of just reading, you can actually take action. I was so glad to finally have someone to love my first and only love that I stopped my destructive behaviours and together we were the quintessential happy young couple we were never great at sex, but for all other aspects of marriage even communication, we were as happy as good be. If the relationship is really over, learning to let go is important. Solicitors dont help you can go to them and tell them anything and they will help you. What have I done! He is going back to his daddys at 30 years old because he will have no responsibility. I have always loved her and I feel like I always will. More must be done. It was considered marital money. Time and time again I would say things that she would take hurtful or mean. I went into shock.. While we did argue I didnt see this coming. (2009). Is evn more so when you realize how little value people place on others life and livelihood. Seems he mailed her interior vibrators to enhance their sessions. He wants to separate all our assets already and wants all the momentos in our house. I later found out she moved into the house her male boss was selling. By the time I left, I hardly knew who I was anymore. I always stood by her even with her legal issues and her mental problems. Then I get her an Acadia. Kids dont know, says he is making sure. I was so in love and i realize it now that shes gone. She told me she was leaving, that she had been unhappy for about a month, and that she needed to figure out who she was, saying that because she hadnt really been single for a lengthy period since she was 18 (shes 22 now) she based her individuality on her relationship. (2018). Then last weekend everything changed Maybe that was the final straw. For THIRTY years, I pined horribly over this bull****. Wow that sounds horrible, cant believe after all those years its almost like they could erase everything you thought they were fighting for for nothing. Just because she knew need her health insurance doesnt mean she entitled your settlement. Everyone I know has been together for years and are still madly in love. He lied to me or left out the fact that a job that he has worked at for 24 years and that he promised he would transfer with, was unable to transfer him. I had no idea she had been this unhappy for such a long time. And moved in with one of our daughters (the mother of our grand babies) he stayed six weeks before her husband couldnt take it any more. I am in a deep and dark place.I am totally stressed out.I love her so much. Thats her me time and its insulting I dare ask that. First of all i feel sorry for you i know where your coming from.my wife left me after 16 yrs. i do not think I could ever do this to another human being and especially one I am suppose to care about but then again I am not self-centered like she is! You knew I would beg at your feet. 3. Hi I have been with my wife for 7 years we dated for 4 years and have been married for 3. Im done. My break ups I had a choice die, lay in my bed forever and lose my job, or take the bull by the horns and say I am a good person and I deserve better!! I know it sounds like a hard thing to hear, but sometimes when people get divorced their whole lives change. My husband left me a few years ago after twelve years of marriage and me moving to another country to be with him. God has the peace you seek. Just because it seems like they dont love you doesnt mean that theyre done with you. Please someone give me some advice. Here Are 5 Reasons Why Your Husband Refuses To End Your Unhappy Marriage, Even If You're Both Miserable. theycome to realize is this it! Its very sad but I want her happy. Tell me something. Then one night he did not come home until 5:30am. She will not even contact my son, my god, what has he done wrong. This happens slowly and mysteriously until, one day, there are no common interests and someone gets bored and wants to move on. I also was finding 100 S of dollars in her car over and over and over with the pills. Nathan, thats terrible she left you & your kids. He obviously had no intentions of returning. But we have a 13 year old son together, and hes a wonderful boy. In this type of love, how others view us is more important than how we actually feel. 4 years ago my husband came home and announced he was thinking of divorce. These tips may help you let go of the past, including someone who hurt you. I had to get my own account because he kept taking huge amounts of money out of our joint account without even saying anything about it or what it was for. I am truly sorry to hear that this happened to you. I was the best husband I could be and we have a ten year old son together. After my heart attack I found out she was talking to an ex boyfriend, having an emotional affair. My lawyer was shocked too and worked hard at just getting the things my mom gave me. There is no weekends off. I borrowed the money for the lawyer from somebody else.he paid all the bills. Im just a hopeless Romantic i guess that loved my wife unconditionally. It kinda helps. Ive never had any depression or anxiety OCD or any mental illness . The taint of desperation lingers at my heals and I fight to be encouraging to two son who have lied to and thrown away as I have like trash. He has a lot of health issues. There is no shame in seeking professional support from a counselor or therapist if you need or want it; help is available. Im sorry for what you are going through Im in the exact same boat Married 17 years too he left this is my husbands 2nd affair Its sickening how a spouse can do this.. My husband left me on 10-14-15, after 2years of being married says he found the person he had been looking for since he been in Florida, what I dont understand is why marry someone if you were looking for someone else??? Technically, there was no reason that I should have still been in such pain yet I was. I cant sleep at night. Anyone who vetted someone over their mental health status wouldnt be worth staying with. My ex knew the lawyers and judges, actually they knew me too, which makes it even more egregious. We lived in Florida for 12 years and he missed his family, parents, brothers, etc. And got into dark goth vampire stuff.she told me it was all just a joke. , Back away and give him space. I didnt even have the pass codes to the credit card or the banking accounts. I still love her with all my heart but she continues to treat me worse and worse. But I will not allow someone to make an inaccurate statement about people with personal disorders. to do the same. Its time to accept that forgiveness and love dont have corners or boundaries. Common I tried police, child services, court all backfired in my face and I lost them all together for 7 months I WILL NOT get anything like that involved again as I have absolutely no faith in it. Its like he wants to keep me down. This story was written by Niamh Tracey of Dublin, Ireland. Its easy to get trapped in black-and-white thinking, but you will need to expand your concept of the situation to truly heal. she is on disability .She cant work or do the things that she loved to do. Make her respect you and have dignity..move on get yourself together n this may take time but keep busy and stay active in ur kids life. Please u did not say anything concerning my case, am in Cameroon, and we have less of such facilities like therapist on psychological or marital issues. He literally left me and took my son for almost joint custody. I dont know how you rip it apart and then walk away like nothings wrong. I cried a little, but I didnt beg him to stay. He is a best-selling author and shares valuable marriage advice on his extremely popular YouTube channel. From the most loving caring individual I have ever known to this cold hateful selfish person I could have ever imagined. What about when you discover hes gay..by discovering multiple affairs he has had? Thank you for this article your right about anything, Im so depressed right now because my husband of 4 years leaves me for the reason that he doesnt love me at all. When she declared she was leaving to focus on her own happiness I was both frightened and relieved. Just wondering how you are getting ready to visit your parents And getting ready for Thanksgiving. To make things better. The number one rule of Christianity is forgiveness. now i got to know of her infidelity causing her to move out of the house, leaving the 3 grown up children with me. I questioned her about it and she denied it. I come from a family of strong people. I wish I had an answer for you. The breakup of a relationship, or a marriage, can be a traumatic event. This always seems like something that can be worked on or fixed, but when two people live separate lives, they can eventually grow too far apart. I know it may seem a bit weird but I stumbled upon this site just the same way. Actually, we were both unhappy and I had also wanted out of the relationship for a while. What is very sad today is that the great majority of women cause most divorces, and theyre without a doubt such low life losers altogether too. He held me back and then confessed that he was bi-sexual and had been texting with another man. Not sure how to recover from this. He is divorced and has 2 young girls. We told her, No, we havent noticed. She simply said, Well, he does, and walked straight out of the room. I have been on his plan for 21 years. He tells her he loves her yet he was still sleeping with me and knew I was trying to win him back. I truly dont know what to do. We were happy, we valued each others company, we always went through any hardships together. In October I caught her sending messages to a guy she met at work, a big fight happened and she wants a divorce now, its been almost two months and I still cant believe whats happening, Im 33 shes 27 we have 4 kids together youngest is only 5 months. Because he worked full time he told me that from Monday to Friday he was unavailable and so I was alone doing it all . His father, a minister, married us. As woman we can try so hard and bend over backwards. And some families have one parent. Soooo I look like this demise is my fault, because I wasnt invested in our marriage. Its been over a year. My betrayer ? I could not allow a man to make me feel less another second! I thought everything was going well, we were hitting on better than ever, having more fun talking more, I felt confident things were going well as he told me they were. She kept calling me perfect for never putting a foot wrong and seemed to twist that to be a negative. I found out last year my husband has contemporary narcissistic personality disorder. The only thing that changed was he was now having to pay for his own health insurance. I dont know if hes cheating. She refuses to answer her phones and when I do get her mom to go there, she refuses to see our child even when I dropped off at her moms which is super close. Hes 45 yo, 21 years married. And he just does not get it. We cannot figure her out this is so unlike her. With a few self-care tips and a whole lot of. Dear Tim It sounds like she just couldnt take the build up emotionally anymore, but that can be fixable. Over those years the contempt, spite, and hate the false sense that everyone but her was living a great life constantly grasping at some new external source of happiness but never satisfied. Whats your love story and is it compatible with your partners? Call him in a mistake made, water under the bridge. Your marriage can't be strong and peaceful if your husband is acting like he doesn't care. Look for ways you were critical or controlling. Once you enter your information, youll be directed to a list of therapists and counselors who meet your criteria. The simple text messages that said I love you or I miss you meant so much. I do love my husband. Hi Susan, I feel for you. 2. I will follow this for now. I think he is waiting to see about this house he is looking at. The preceding article was solely written by the author named above. Do not allow someone to ever make you feel less or wrong. Please keep sharing your common senseok, so my wife of 25 years just abandoned me, posioned my boys (18 & 21) and took the dogand my (deceased) mothers piano. I need some feed back on how to deal with this.Please help me.Give me some Ideas. It seems odd to me he does this before family outings almost as if he is looking for things and this has me wondering. I dove back into the deep waters of the person that I had primarily lost, myself. And protect yourself because if shes not looking out for you you need to. Since than we had a very bad fight only one day after my 40th birthday and l havent heard from him scence. Weve been together just over 5 years and what I thought was happily married for almost 3. My wife began threatening me with divorce over little things years ago. Then we irretrievably hate. 3. 1. After 27 years of marriage, four kids, two grands, my husband packed up. I lost 15 lbs. Thanks Jersey girl. I just gotta keep plugging along knowing deep down so much has gone wrong and continues and I just cant believe I brought children into this world with this person. (my #6 lumbar vertebra was staved in caused, by the way, by a beating by another sweet s**) Finally, this reached a crisis, as I was actually dying from the pain (didnt know that could happen, until it happened to me). I just didnt know about it. Next Monday comes and she again asks me to be there every night after work to do all the work and begins to belittle me when I start to question whats going on, she would often tell me I didnt care about the children if I didnt want to be there but by now its getting hard, real hard. She gets outraged and calls me every name in the book and thats that. All rights reserved. and more lately photos on the Internet with him on holiday with a past flirt that came to light on a social net work . Depressed partners regret leaving very often, yes, but it should not be a pattern. And who are the casualties in all this? So made loads of effort to make her life more enjoyable. This may help resolve the issue. How will I survive this?! Over the Xmas period she started to become distant, but I put it primarily down to the fact that her grandad, who shes very close to, is now in a home with Alzheimers and it would be her first Xmas without him. Help, Good Therapy!!!! Letting go of what hurts may be difficult but it's possible. I cant get over him.I love him so deeply its killing me inside. Mean while you no longer car because there just arent enough years left in my life to even care about. I just want some kind of advice i feel like there is no reason to live anymore Brutal to walk in and every turn have that in your face, and it wasnt perfect but I came back everyday after work. I now tell her I wont come over anymore and space away for her when she wont even consider spending even an hour of her time with us. Hey my name is Derek Im going to be 36 in dec, I have been married for 13 years and with her for 17. Now im being threated/monitored by one of his family. 2015 he wanted to return but i was afraid to living together so i left him out there. Im married since 11 months my wife is very sensitive and warm hearted.. I have been madly in love with this woman for the 12 years weve known each other, and of course I was devastated. He says they have not had sex but it is an emotional affair just as bad or worse! However we were married 7 years together for 16, and 3 kids My husband found someone 11 years younger and left me 8 weeks after meeting her!! Its just unreal. She doesnt call for two days. a train when It stops you only have two choices get off and get on another train or stay on and go in reverse. They leave behind their friends, the jobs that they love, and the happy memories from years gone by. He left his phone in the locker and i walked around for another hour looking for them. I wish I just could stop thinking about it. there never will be. You can NOT continue to live this way, and I am so sorry you have been going through this. There is something called life. Even if your spouse returns, the relationship as you know it may have changed, and it's OK to express grief: "You're grieving the loss of this relationship, what . How to make your ex-boyfriend feel bad for hurting you, Why am I starting to think about my ex again? My heart goes out to you and I wrote this in hopes to give you faith that just as well as evil there is still good.