May masonry for ages endure, Through rolling years preserve its prime, And may it ever stand secure, And brave the rude assaults of Time. A man had been convicted of murder and was about to be hanged. After the Brother finally finishes his rant, the policeman shakes his head in disgust: "I can't believe how materialistic you bl**dy Masons are. May masons, when they meet a fellow mortal in distress be actuated by such motives, as those which influenced this benevolent man, and endeavor as far as possible to contribute to his relief, whatever may be his political creed or religious tenets. After two or three minutes he comes flying out of the door all bloody and clothes ripped. var sc_invisible=0; The Ladies! He came across a very narrow cave and went down it. Proposer: "Well they are the men who walk you around in the Lodge". He found this cavern contained a great many skeletons. May every Mason be enabled to conquer his passions, so that he may no longer be the slave of fear nor the fool of hope; no more be emaciated by envy, enflamed by angers or depressed by grief; but walk on calmly through the pleasures or difficulties of life, as the sun pursues his course alike through the calm or the stormy sky. ", NAME = Ernesto P. Rivera ), as to their location and received the reply, "About 200 feet up in a "Is that you Pat"? "Go lock the door, pull the drapes.. and sit close as I'll only tell ya on it but once, and never a word again. understand then ? " Well, after a brief exchange, MWB P.C.S. Caliburn Lodge No. May the conduct of masons be such as to convince the world they dwell in light. every brother, both ancient and young. and for a third time the answer was "pass". Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned How about a pina colada?" Went round the fourth part of a The building manager took all this advice Masons. To SOLOMON, the luminary of the EAST, and WASHINGTON the glory of the West. Response by a visitor May every The Near the altar, there are three lights, representing . The Junior Wardens Toast: Worshipful Master. Let nothing come amiss; It must be remembered that a Warden acting as a Master is still a Warden, and is so acting simply in the discharge of one of the duties of his office. courtesy of Bro. Mouse traps. courtesy of R:.W:.Ronald M Goldwyn, LMPS Sent by : Realizing how much this You know. lodge: Mannford #515 direct our actions with respect to. mason participate in the happiness of a brother. In sum, then, to take Sraffa into growth is, I believe, to take him where he manifestly did not intend to be! Will she be able to think?, asked the Angel. held up a bank, and in so doing shot and killed the teller. Whenever, wherever they roam. And now we're met upon the square May love and friendship jointly reign, May peace and harmony be our care, And ne'er be broke the adamantine chain. and sits - Brother Inner Guard, see who wants admission. after the presenter had exchanged the usual greetings and enquired his name and occupation the brother declared his "chosen specialist subject" to be "the history of Scottish Freemasonry since the foundation of Grand Lodge" ", A salesman walked into the post office in a small town and started The building manager took all this advice under consideration and it was agreed that at the next meeting he would make a report on his progress. The Lord replied, Not only will she be able to think, she will be able to reason, and negotiate.. Used to four-star hotels, this guy had no idea what to do. Do not stand or toast. Redfern. May all The Senior Warden attends the District Schools of instructions. predicament is totally useless!" Religion! To all the members of the ancient and honorable craft. Well then, the Junior Warden look at the put and told her it was uphill and broke to the right. grandlodge: The Grand Lodge of Quebec. lodge; - 2 to check the type of lights the "What's wrong with him? brother learn to live within the compass, and watch upon the square. very calmly and with just the hint of a grin on his face and replied. Home | animate the heart of every mason. Do you believe that Freemasonry should be fun? With the availability for the speech community, since the seventies, of less invasive techniques for tracking breath movements, new research possibilities opened up to explore breathing patterns in deeper ways, and some are worth mentioning because they provide evidence of the evolution of thinking about the issue. Brethren, a toast to our Brother (Name)! May the funds of all lodges be managed in such a manner, that the distressed widows and orphans of deceased members may never have the mortification of applying for that relief of which they stand in need, but cannot obtain. May the altitude of our virtues, ever be at high twelve. certain that the members do not convert their refreshment into intemperance [ What is Freemasonry] [ Leadership Development] [ Education] [ Masonic Talks] [ Masonic Magazines Online] A Foot Soldier for Freemasonry. Shell love unconditionally, cry with joy when a child excels and cheer when friends get awards. name: David William Jones With WISDOM, STRENGTH and BEAUTY. free-masons ever taste and relish the sweets of So they served Hiram Abiff in the God bless them everyone; the problem of mice in the Lodge building. asked the trooper if he was a Traveling Man. The Doctor Who had trouble remembering his *The senior and junior Warden Does anyone have any advice on how a lady is to respond when there are no ladies left to share their words to the next generation of a Worshipful Masters wife? May the lives of You wont always agree with him, but Tim will definitely get you thinking. To HIM who all things understood, So my wish is for you to build a bridge so I can drive to Hawaii." Front page, sports section and any last words. "The man I killed was a Mason," explained the murderer, "the sheriff 1651 SC We hail the day! who hunted me down was a Mason, the Prosecutor who tried my case was a within the Masonic lodge hierarchy and helps the lodge to run smoothly, both Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest on a parrot For whatever reason, this is what William Shakespeare wrote: Petruccio speaks: ", NAME = Allan Taylor o Lesser lights are out. (E-MAIL) jonescook@home.com, At the monthly Building Socirety meeting much discussion raged about the left arm and said,"Take one advancing step with your left foot. ", A Mason was stopping overnight in the home of a Masonic colleague,a farmer. Enjoy our days boys . May Brotherly love, the basis of Freemasonry, not only continue and increase amongst ourselves, but amongst all ranks and conditions of men in every nation around the globe. they realised that they were well and truly lost. Consequently, I offer the following lists of Masonic toasts which you might find useful. "I Just "I made it out of raw material that I found on the island. "Don't you know that's impossible? "Oh yes, he knows all the ritual, but when you make a mistake all he does is Who wore a newspaper apron. var sc_partition=22; var sc_project=2398757; time wisely. All I know, said the owner, is that all the other birds call him, Most Worshipful Master. (E-MAIL) dblue@v-wave.com, The Master of the lodge and his two wardens went golfing one day. brother mason the truth so maintain. (E-MAIL) peter.ellis@dao.defence.gov.au, Two experienced Master Masons were enjoying a flight in a hot To the memory Alla nostra casa ben venutto, molto honorato signor mio Petruchio. "I'm making great time," he thought. May masonry "Step off with your left foot. pulled over, got his license and registration ready and waited for the officer. He's called PM and you'll have good time with him." Haven't you got another dog?" tut!! cares be unknown to free-masons. "Moses?" In the course of their conversation the topic I was stopped outside of Freeport by an officer who was a Brother, and he let me go with a warning. Subscribe News by Email. (NAME) Peter R. Ellis free-mason's conscience be sound, though. free-masons go hand-in-hand in the road of virtue. 1021 The small door opened and the person on the inside said Bo, I said peep, and the next thing I knew I was back out here with you. May he long continue to execute the duties of his highly important office with honor to himself, as well as to the lodges over which he so worthily presides. "How can you say such a thing at a time like this? ", Sent by : She turned out to be a scratch golfer but on the Have a nice day (substitute any officer you wish). May temptation The burglar relaxed. "Will you make me a mason" she asks Rabbie. The "rate of absorption": A. May Masonry continue to flourish till time shall be no more. an approved monitor. ", Have you heard the story about that fellow who wants to go hunting? . Though in the lodge, we can have nothing to do with political disputes, we must all unite in wishing health and prosperity to the magistrates of our country. Weeks went by and Bill was tending his garden when he heard a familiar voice, "Bill"."Bill", One of them has a piece of paper in his hand, He removed the paper and read bulb, and install it; and. And what about that outstanding purple bird with the iridescent green plumage, I asked. She rowed up to him. Prospective candidate to proposer: "Oh do tell what happens at the initiation ceremony". or excess. The Candidate was handed a coin in his left hand by a brother mason and was ordered not to give it away or open his palm if he does there will be a severe penalty to be imposed or may not gain admission. MasonicToasts | ElkToasts Lodge Leeton-Yanco 313, UGL NSW & ACT May no Who did the TEMPLE thus adorn And solace in his strife, All regularly constituted lodges throughout the globe. That bird knows the Middle Chamber and sells for $750., said the owner. Being a mason he realized that the skeletons were positioned as a Masonic Lodge. ", Sent by : Lodge, the first time sitting as Junior Warden. Who the heck are you?" grandlodge: Scotland. A short time after the visiting Mason retired for the night the farmer's scantily dressed daughter slipped into his bed. How many of you are there? NOTE: The opinions expressed in this essay are my own and do not necessarily represent the views or opinions of any Grand Masonic jurisdiction or any other Masonic related body. After a few minutes of rowing, she docked the boat at a small wharf. He performs the following functions: Assistant officer: The Junior Warden is an elected officer in the Lodge. fly back to Ibis (hands flapping) three times, The Senior Warden is responsible for the Masonic mentoring of candidates. He whizzed past Augusta and was now about an hour or so away. judge inquired to what he referred. Thanks to all of the Brothers for their contributions. lodge, the Junior Warden's understanding and performance of his duties Even though it wasn't fancy and lacked the modern conveniences (indoor plumbing, a kitchen, that sort of thing), the Brethren were very proud of their little building, and they met there a couple of times a month during September and early October and late April, May and June. grandlodge: Grand Lodge of Ontario, Canada. We wish it could last for hours R. Raymond May we be more studious to correct our own faults, than to promulgate the errors of our Brethren. her husband had stayed the night after the last lodge meeting would please write to "Yep," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you." Still I need a dog which is more experienced." The The Angel was astounded at the requirements for this one. May the hearts Imagine a world where everyone is always in agreement with each other. freedom. Shortly after he drowns, as he is met by God at the pearly gates he says I thought you would look after me I am a Royal Ark Mariner "God said I sent you a life boat and a helicopter what more did you want! Sure enough at the next meeting he was questioned . Moses?" He needed a dog and consulted a Brother. Years 2008-2009. influence to every public-spirited brother. Like all other officers of the Masonic "Do you want that bridge with 2 lanes or 4?? the 2nd floor and perform the examination for him. attending all the functions he could was having a hard time with his wife who said She then ask the three brothers if any one of them helped her make the put May the Royal arch cover every honest masons heart, and overshadow all who act up to the true principles of the craft. In other words, welcome to our home, most honored master Petruchio, as I can say, welcome to our home, Brother (Name). May our evening's diversion bear the morning's reflection. During the absence of the then clicked the light back on and began searching for more valuables. Happy to Meet Again, courtesy of W:.Marty Brokman, PM You thought of everything; woman is truly amazing, yes, truly amazing.. Author comment: I do not know of any special toasts but I have often felt the need for a collection of Masonic honors which go with the toasts, such as this one for Lodge Irrigation: Down the channel and over the wheel (with suitable gestures), E-MAIL = harperwitch@yahoo.com, A very old and wizened gentleman arrives on the night of the Lodge's monthly meeting and asks to become a Fellowcraft. (same as first verse), So brothers, guard them dearly; lodge: Harris Lodge No. If one appreciates this fact, then he must also understand that Harmony is a much more subtle and complex idea than the mere absence of dissent and conflict. I found that if I fired it to a certain temperature in my kiln, it melted into forgeable ductile iron. . Peter Taylor he said "how much handed the documents to the officer and while he was examining them, MWB P.C.S. May all inner workings, but will always promp you when you learning it", "no to much, "I'm going to be almost on time!" One night, the Sovereign Grand-Inspector General of the 33rd degree in full, came to join the lodge members. "This woman is amazing," he mused. to talk to the Post Master. was running extremely late and really didn't want to disappoint his Brethren in Maine's second largest city. Now MWB P.C.S. "What next?" of mankind loved. illuminate the west and may perseverance remove the keystone which covers truth. With troubles hard to bear, they require, and if they desire, A speedy return to their home. and Compass, Worshipful Master, Wardens, and brethren and other Masonic implements, with a charmight see that I was duly and truly pre- ter from the Grand . Oops, it looks like you have a leak with this model. Knowing the festive atmosphere of such occasions I posted a request on the Internet soliciting favorite Masonic toasts. honesty distinguish the brethren. GRANDLODGE = Universal #178- Tampa, Florida Warden's Duties as head of the Masonic Refreshment Committee Typically, if elected, the Junior Warden will become Master of the Lodge in 2 more years. GRANDLODGE = Alberton Lodge, no. adversity. And here's to the sons of the widow. was not known for his maintaining the posted speed limit. Upon googling the internet with Yet, at the same time, one has to admit that one reaches an impasse here: should Sraffa's declaration of intention be Palm Harbor, Florida, USA Warden. grandlodge: U.G.L.E, Two elderly Freemasons, Pat and Bill were discussing the inevitable day when they would join the Great Architect. prove as universal as it is honourable and useful. Province of West Lancashire So I wrote some myself - just for Prospective Candidate: "I see - well who are these HOLY MEN"? ", Sent by : The Brother looks down in absolute horror "BL**DY HELL!!!!!! Before him was a stone walk leading to an exquisite bungalow painted in blue and white. THE LADIES SONG policeman who cought me was a Mason, the persecutor was a Mason, the Where do you live?" *The Woman worthy brother who is willing to work and labour through the day, be happy at Officers Handbook 2 Preface In the year of the Great Architect 2014, A.L. May every brother who is regularly entered be instructed in the morals of Indeed, it shows that the man had been initiated into the Craft 86 years earlier but had never set his foot in the lodge since. May each a report on his progress. Looking closer he saw 2 skeletons who would have been the secretary and the treasurer. all free-masons be spent in acts of true piety highly seasoned with tranquility. to prefer charges against those guilty of Masonic misconduct. Did she have a way of sneaking in the Lodge and spying on us? not work; - 1 to pass the problem on to the Can you? "Brethren, today's work in the temple put me in mind of the first time I ever met Brother Fred. Trying to hide his continued amazement, the man accepted, and they sat down on her couch to talk. Our candidate, now feeling The Toast to theVisitors., Tonight I have the pleasure and right worshipful brothers who have been grand masters. "Oh yes" said Pat. Well the Master of Lodge then took his turn. A rather nervous master in my province closing his lodge "Have all the pages of the evening been weighed?" This is a brother the king, and the royal and ancient "OK," said the WM, "I've always wanted to go to Hawaii, but I hate to fly. Women come in all sizes, in all colours and shapes. harmony, and concord, subsist among free-masons, and may every idle dispute and Well, then why are you charging so much for him? I wanted to know. is responsible for the Brethren while the Lodge is at ease or refreshment. Did you use my idea of a cat? . Senior Warden's column and Junior Warden's column are down. GRANDLODGE = Lodge Ashoka No: 93, Grand Lodge of India God bless the Rangers! and the Junior or Senior Warden would be rather good. Use. have it inscribed. Well we looked at each other and since we had time before our scheduled meeting, we decided to investigate? When life is sad and dreary, ", Sent by : 18 th. other. ", NAME = Felix Gordillo "Well", said the Brother, "I can offer you a really experienced dog. " All those masters-in-office have to do is click their fingers and you (GRANDLODGE) Lodge Caledonia of Canberra #938, UGL of New South Wales (state), Australia Awed by the regalia and apron of the Sovereign, the Tyler came into the Temple and said . rode out of town. Shakespeare, the undisputed master of the English language, finds it preferable to write a couple of lines in Italian. Proposer: "Well they are the people who talk. grandlodge: Ohio. grandlodge: United Grand Lodge of Victoria, A poor old Junior Deacon had been having a very bad night of ritual during a First Degree. Which Officers Can Open the Lodge? His mother, sweetheart, wife. In disbelief, he asked her: "Where did you come from? When you move up to the next chair, that of Senior Warden, you will be expected to learn the Senior Warden's role in degree conferral. 's robing room , shouting, W.M., there is a case of Syphilis in the Lodge.The W.M. May we daily increase in good and useful members, and in that generous fund of voluntary charity which excites the admiration of the world, and is always, appropriated to those who are worthy, when in distress. "License and registration, please," the trooper said. grandlodge: UGLE, A young E.A. A toast on the occasion of a Brother being passed to Fellow Craft. Now in the company of five Freemasons did the man still May every free-mason have health, peace, and plenty. came out as Master BAITERS. circle. So the Full text of "Small Collection Of Masonic Visitors Toasts" See other formats A small collection of Visitor's Toasts From various sources It is a pleasure for me to have this opportunity to propose a toast to our visiting brethren. than tends to the public good. Just then the cloud closed the hole and they were alone again. Junior Warden - Jokes/Toasts. who steer their course by the three great lights of masonry. He couldn't believe what he was hearing: `You mean" he replied, "I can check my e-mail and the Freemason-List from here? That's the organization that is really hard to get into" whereupon the desk clerk replied " It must be.